I wish just once someone would call me "sir", without adding "you're making a scene".

I got my first DJing gig.. I'm not sure where it is, but I think its at a place called the warehouse..
... So I have to get ready and practice my ass off.

Fuck.



FUCK.

Okay, I don't know what kind of bizarro world my mother is from, but since when is being able to talk to someone for a very long time a bad thing for a relationship?
its not like our conversation consists of personal insults, and we sure as hell don't argue a lot.
Maybe I should worry my mom, by screaming or talking about bizarre ass shit whenever I'm on the phone.
You know, stuff like

"It's MY duct tape! I'll put it wherever I want to!... If it turns me on, you should be happy!" 

"Well, I like fantasizing about my ass being an over sized cinnamon roll..."

"What do you want me to say? I'm just not THAT into belly buttons, so I won't do that"

"I already apologized! It's an alpaca with meaning, okay?!" (.. hoping you get its a joke, Bbear)

"Thats what you're SUPPOSED to do with nose hair, baby."

"Under the toilet seat... No.. I have no idea what it was doing there. But I'm glad I found it."

"GRILLED CHEESE!!"

"A midget in a wagon?"

"No, not a mole, HOLE! H-O-L-E... Yes. My HOLE."

Or just when I call start screaming into the phone for about 20 minutes, then hang up.