I wish just once someone would call me "sir", without adding "you're making a scene".

Michael Weibermunkel was a brilliant chemical engineer. Supporting three loving children and a fashion-model wife, he had everything to live for. One day, however, that would all change. While working on a nuclear reactor, he was involved in a terrible accident and was exposed to gamma radiation; thus, a new superhero was born: CANCER MAN! with the power to grow cancerous tumors, he uses his new abilities to stamp out crime and corruption wherever it lurks.

Dun dun dun.